if all i have to face is hypocrisy, i won’t bother helping. as far as i know. i am helping my family at the same time. what is my mistake? is it a mistake that i think what i am doing which is helping wrong? then i shall do something about it.

why is it that i am misjudged that i am doing something good? something that benefit to my friend and to me? is it so fucking wrong???!!! if it is tell me!!! i would change everything. is it that bad???!

even doing a paid overtime at work. is it something sinful? is it wrong for me to earn extra cash when i have the opportunity to? is it something i wanted when the company has events and stocks are coming in weekly and i have to clear it? did i ask for it? NO! i am not doing my job for free. i am being paid.

is everything i do wrong?

why me? whyyyy?

is this the challenges that i have to face when im in the midst of changing myself to a better person? trying so hard to learn life?

WHAT DID I FUCKING DO??!!!

i just cant control myself from tearing.

I can waste it … or use it for good,
But what I do today is important
Because I am exchanging
A day of my life for it!

When tomorrow comes,
This day will be gone forever,
Leaving in its place
Something that I have traded for it.

I want it to be gain … and not loss;
Good … and not evil;
Success … and not failure;
In order that I shall not regret
The price that I have paid for it.

I will try just for today,
For you never fail …
Until you stop trying.

~ Author Unknown ~

credits : http://www.pennyparker2.com/newday.html

I noticed that, only during this time of the night that i tend to think appropriately. Things comes really easy. Everything that has made me wonder would actually come to sense and it makes it easier for me to think straight.

At any point of time, whenever i feel so down or disturbed, i would actually do things to keep myself occupied. It doesn’t solve things but it helps me think openly. But usually it’s during this time i would think things over. I mean easier said i feel peace. My mind is free. I like it this way. I’m feeling a whole lot better now.

This things that’s happening around me. I believe it’s a lesson for me. To overcome it and learn from it. Never give up, cos when i do. I may lose out. I wouldn’t want that to happen do i?

I know i’m strong. Yes i am, that’s provided when i start to hate. When hatred and anger over takes, it’s easier for me to act. But, now i don’t. Not even the slightest hatred in me. I love Shamin so much that i would support in whatever he does, do whatever it takes for him. Make things easier for me. I know he’s someone for me. I know that.

I’m gonna make this last. Although we’re still new in this relationship. I’m sure we’ll overcome the setbacks together. I believe we would.

Cos i believe you love me as much as i do. Or maybe more. ♥

You make me feel special.
You made me love you for who you are.
You made me believe in things.
I’m just in love with you.

i’ve posted up a few screenshots i took on facebook.

gonna post it up here too! although it’s play money. i’m superly happy oke? blueks~

am gonna play stud and off to bed.

i want to take a picture like this with you♥

i want to sleep with you everyday♥

i want to sleep in this kind of atmosphere just with you♥

and this is what i wanna wear when that day comes.

I am currently suffering for major abrasions due to the fall i had last night while longboarding. My both hands are wrapped with bandage. It really looks like i just met with an accident.

I had trouble sleeping. so i called crying to Shamin. He tried calming me down asking me to bandage myself first before he comes over to first aid me. I bandaged myself like how he instructed me to. The thing that made me cry so badly was because that my left palm was having that burning sensation. it’s freaking painful. and my whole body didn’t feel comfortable at all!! that’s when i cried my ass off and called him.

it’s worse then this now.

eventhough he was having his tournament he would drop out just to drive over and see me. my wound got worse by then. he came and nurse me. cleaned my wound and bandaged it. he’s the sweetest laaa!

he’s going party tonight but i can’t join in.. BORING NYEE! lol! it’s oke. have your night alright? i’ll be at home. having my rest.

Yesterday was the night the girls went longboarding together. Made new friends! The experience was awesome!! No regrets! I’ll regret if didn’t attend it. We met at Orchard Ion. There was a “live band” playing by the streets and a lot of oldies songs. There was even a apek dancing in front of the band. Awesome laa!

So, the girls were late, namely Abby and Wani and Kiddy! =.= I almost died waiting for them to reach Ion. Ouh! earlier in the day i went out with lil sis OldHag. She accompanied me to Bugis Street for the job thingy and yea i got the job! starting the job on 18th.

Alhamdulillah. happy sangat sangat!

So we cruised from Ion to Cineleisure. We cut the crowds there. Lucky me i didn’t bump to anyone or hit anyone. They bought dinner and ate at Scape. We talked about Hell’o'wheels too! I have an idea of what to wear which will actually match my skate shoe. now i’m freaking excited to the core!

anyways, i had my first fall on my failed attempt to go over some chain with the short steep road. i landed on my earpiece. =.= thankfully it’s still working fine. we cruised down to SMU. there was this mellow slope and i fucking hate it cos i couldn’t get my coleman trick right. frustrated!

and slacked for a bit and cruised down to esplanade. While trying to stop i fell again. the flooring was slippery. and my left side of my butt landed on my wheels. awesome feeling. i’m so loving it NOT! =.= fucking pain. stupid fall again.

reached esplanade and started perfecting my coleman. got the feel and got it right. happy. tried on my drift to make it constant. still suck at it. =.= need more practice. gahhhh~